Katie Jackson: Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Help 4 HDTV. The once a week during quarantine, Katrina and I put makeup on.
Today, we are going to do a show on a question that has been submitted for our HIPE panel for our May 2nd virtual HIPE day. This was a HIPE day that was supposed to take place in Michigan, but now because of the quarantine, we had to make it virtual.
More people have been able to attend and we have a lot of questions coming in that people want asked to our panel of HD experts. But a couple of the questions that have come in actually could be answered by caregivers as well.
Over the next two weeks, we picked a question and we are going to answer this question as caregivers. Then you guys can register and tune in to May 2nd, virtual HIPE, to hear what the HD experts have to say. This is just Katrina and I story that we lived, but they have helped thousands, with the three people that we have on, families navigate through some of these questions.
The question we're going to address today is how do you know when it's time to place your loved one?
Katrina Hamel: My mom had a lot of behavioral issues. I was a caregiver by trade for years prior to actually taking care of my mom. She became very combative, very angry, and refused any and all medications, but I still really wanted to have her at home.
I wanted to be the best caregiver, the best daughter, all of those things that I put on myself. I think that placing my mom ended up being a blessing in disguise, so to speak, because it was very difficult at home for myself and my three children who were also caregivers just by being in the home.
She ended up acting out in public to where she really destroyed a store. The police were called and the care team was called. They are the team that comes along with the police officers to ensure their safety along with the public safety. To make sure that anyone that is going through a mental breakdown or something that is of combative nature, that everyone remains safe.
When this all happened, the team saw that my mom needed more care than what I was able to provide. We all decided that it would be best for her to be placed. After she was placed, it was a huge relief because she was able to get medications that helped her. She was able to spend time with her grandkids without her scaring them. Without any fears of my own, of what could happen. Once placing her, it was a big decision and a battle. In the end it was the best decision that we had made.
I just want to say that I think that everyone puts their own, ideas into their head about what their expectations are and what they want to live by. And they also, listen to outsiders. So just be aware of that. The things that you say to people about placement can really make them feel extra unneeded guilt.
Katie Jackson: I'm so glad you said that. That was actually something I was thinking as I'm hearing you talk was number one word was guilt that came into my mind. Every single situation is going to be different. Everyone is living their own life and their own journey. So, when it is time to place, or maybe it's never time to place, maybe you care for your loved one at home, through the end and hats off to you. Maybe you have to place and love your loved one from afar and hats off to you too, for being brave enough to make that decision. Either way, there's not a wrong decision. It's just a different journey.
I did have to place my husband, Mike. This was a battle that went on for a very, very long time. It started with me just realizing that I wasn't able to care for him and our three children at home, safely.
There was an incident when I came home from grocery shopping cause I had to get groceries because Mike ate an immense amount of food. I came home and found him in our pool. If I want to come in, he probably would have drowned. It was just the timing was right for me to find him and save him. We had situations where he fell and cracked his head open numerous times.
It came to the point where the kids were terrified. They were very scared. They weren't sleeping at night, they were having anxiety. They were having a really rough time in school. They were failing classes. When I started taking them to counseling, the counselors felt that it was probably because of anxiety that they were feeling. Fearful that their dad was going to be hurt or something was going to happen to their dad from what they'd witnessed at home.
The final thing for me was seeing Mike so uncomfortable in our own home. And that was because our three children were children. Very young, very crazy, very active. There was constantly theater, school and, and swimming and screaming and yelling because they were children. It caused him so much anxiety.
There were days he would just sit there and I could tell he was just like, stop, stop. Cause he didn't feel good. Not only were my kids under severe anxiety and having a rough time living day to day, Mike was under severe anxiety, living with three young children every day, even though he loved his children so much, it was very hard for him.
It took a big team of my friends, my very supportive HD community, Mike's HD care team and our family to say Katie, it's time. Katrina came down to help me find a facility and we looked for a very long time to find the right fit for him.
We visited him every day in the beginning. Then it came to like three times a week because he was tired. Then his mom twice a week. We always had visitors. We kept the routine, we did everything we could. It is still the single most guilty thing I feel, is about placing him. It's a guilt I will probably always feel. My best friend who I'm doing this show with, tells me all the time, Katie, it was the right thing for all of you. That's one of the things that I feel guilty about through our HD journey. Even though I knew it was the best thing for our children, him and myself at the time.
That's us in a very short glimpse of what our stories are. I'll pass it over to Katrina to give you guys a little bit of more information about the event coming up.
Katrina Hamel: We will have our HIPE virtual on May 2nd to replace the event that we were going to be doing live in Michigan. We will have the links below for you guys to register.
You can also find them on our website, www.helpforhd.org but please register. We want to make sure that everyone who has the link has been invited in, just for safety. Go ahead and register below with the link.
Katie Jackson: Hit that subscribe button like this video, and ring the bell so you can hear when we post new videos. 'Til next time!